I can't recall how many times I've been told in the course of my lifetime that "you can't have it all". I'd at least heard it enough to believe it...until recently.
Perhaps it's the realization that my 50th birthday will be here in just over 2 years, or perhaps it's the wisdom gained from knowing I've let too many good opportunities pass me by because I was afraid to take the appropriate leap of faith. Fear of failure? Fear of success and the responsibilities that would accompany it? Perhaps. Maybe one additional leap of faith was all it would have taken to bring me that much closer to whatever goal I'd set for myself. Maybe it would have taken two. Regardless, that fact that not enough leaps were taken only leads me to one conclusion. I stayed in the same position by not jumping.
I know I've bucked the trend in my own family by not following certain paths. Dad was a banker, my brother runs his own successful dental practice, one sister is in the medical profession, another was a successful educator until marrying a doctor, and now raises 3 beautiful girls. All three of my siblings are in marriages that have last more than twice as long as mine did. Yet, I still find myself blessed in ways they may never be able to comprehend. I found a love for music at a very young age and KNEW by the time I was 12 years old that it's what I wanted to do. Unfortunately, I listened to the conventional wisdom of the day and didn't pursue it because there was "no way to make a living as a musician". That's what growing up in a small town will get you. It wasn't until I moved to New York more than 24 years ago that I realized I could actually make money with my guitar and my voice. Sure, it was only a few bucks at first...but it grew to a point where I actually started making more on some of my gigs than I was making at some of my day jobs.
Career paths changed over the years...from academia to the corporate sector, to executive recruiting. The one constant that remained was the music. It always supplemented my other income. When the economy took a turn for the worse in 2008-09, and I found myself out of a "day job" again after having relocated to Long Island, it was my work as a musician that sustained me. In fact, it became my full time occupation again. Strangely enough, as a result of the adversity experienced from losing my day job, I started to see myself in a whole new light....the light in which I wanted to see myself.
My schedule began to be so full with the responsibilities of being a father and a full-time working musician that I started to feel that something was suffering: My health. I was fatigued, I couldn't sleep, I was stressed out and I was eating on the fly. I was even having a hard time keeping up with my 12 year old daughter when we were out running around. Fortunately, I've never been overweight. I've been blessed with a metabolism most people would kill for. But as a man in his late 40s, I knew I was rolling the dice. I committed myself to a fitness and diet regimen in an effort to rid myself of feeling like a middle-aged couch potato. It's probably one of the wisest decisions I've ever made. While I don't claim to be a health expert by any means, I do know that what goes into our bodies has a direct affect on how we feel on a day to day basis. I've cut out most carbs, I eat a lot of protein (chicken, fish, nuts, etc.), eat fresh vegetables, drink more water and, most importantly...exercise....daily. The exercise ranges from a full 40-60 minute cardio/strength/flexibility workout (I actively do the "Insanity" dvd's) to something as simple as a brisk walk/sprint/jog to just get the heart rate going. Not surprisingly, the turnaround in my health has affected my work as a musician. I have more energy at the end of my gigs now and I even feel better about being in front of an audience now...I don't feel like an out of shape guy strumming a guitar.
For me, it comes down to a simple question: What do I want out of life? Truthfully, I want it all. I want to feel healthy as long as I can; I want to continue to make a good living as a musician in whatever capacity I can, and I want to be the best father I can be for my daughter. Being remembered as someone who made an impact on other peoples' lives wouldn't be a bad legacy either. While too many chances may have been missed in the past, today starts as the day I commit myself to being more observant to opportunities when they appear. The days of being afraid to jump must be left behind. A wise man once wrote, "you get endless second chances to take it one chance at a time". Here's to taking more chances and having it all....
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